Lack of preparation for a divorce can not only lead to additional and unnecessary emotional distress, it can also result in detrimental mistakes on both an emotional and legal level. In an article titled, “Top 10 Legal Mistakes in Divorce,” Divorce360, an online resource for individuals contemplating, living through or recovering from divorce, referred to Loriann Hoff Oberlin’s “Surviving Separation and Divorce” when describing the typical mistakes made by divorcing spouses.

The family lawyers of Gailor, Wallis and Hunt describe the top five mistakes that cause many divorcing spouses  unnecessary grief:

Believing your soon-to-be ex will be fair and cooperative:

Thanks to emotional turbulence during a divorce, spouses can butt heads over minute details that never before were an issue. Court divorce is an adversarial process that evokes conflict. The best way to approach divorce is to put yourself first, as your spouse will likely do the same.

Not asking questions:

As the legally inexperienced person may feel intimidated by the system, the concept of asking questions may appear daunting at first. Do not let fear get in the way of understanding your rights and benefits. Communication with your lawyer and other professionals that may be assisting you is key to understanding the consequences to you  – financial and emotional – as  the divorce action proceeds. Write down any questions or issues that come to mind and ask your lawyer for specific answers – and write down the answers.

Withholding information from your attorney:

Remember, your lawyer has your best interests in mind. While divorce may elicit feelings of distrust towards your spouse, the sentiment should not transfer to your attorney. Withholding information pertinent to the litigation only slows the process to a final resolution. Remember, they are lawyers, they find out everything sooner or later. Failure to tell your lawyer certain facts may be crucial in trial – particularly if your spouse knows the information you are withholding and his or her lawyer uses it against you at trial. Your lawyer will have little if any chance to deal with harmful, unexpected testimony in court.

Letting emotions steer decisions:

As the lawyers of Gailor, Wallis & Hunt know – divorce is tough.. But allowing emotions rather than logic to steer your decisions will undermine your case. While some may feel victimized or want revenge, others feel anxious and angry. In hindsight, rash decisions are almost always turn out to be a mistake. Discuss the consequences of a potential decision with your lawyer and other advisors before taking action – you will likely save yourself from a serious  and perhaps costly mistake. It is far easier to prevent a mistake than to fix the consequences.

Forgetting tax ramifications of legal decisions:

Divorce litigation consists of , real and personal property including retirement accounts, as well as post separation support and alimony all of which are accompanied by tax ramifications that will last much longer than the emotional turmoil from the divorce. If part of your 401K is transferred to your spouse is the transfer taxable? If you pay or receive alimony is it taxable to you or deductible by your spouse? These questions are very important but unfortunately often overlooked by unhappy spouses who want to hurry up with the divorce. Ask your attorney what will happen if you are forced to split your retirement account or have to pay alimony and what the long term consequences will be. Make sure the proposals on the table for division of property and payment or receipt of support are worth it in the long run.

When it comes to divorce, the splitting of assets and debts accumulated through the relationship is an unavoidable, yet necessary process. It ensures both parties receive what is rightfully theirs but unfortunately can result in lengthy disputes that require court trials. Hiring an attorney experienced in family law is the best way to survive the storm. The law firm of Gailor, Wallis and Hunt is known as one of North Carolina’s most accomplished domestic relations family law firms.

Each attorney in the firm possesses a particular proficiency in a specific area of family law, enhancing the firm’s ability to respond to and settle or litigate any issue, not matter how complex. The lawyers at Gailor, Wallis and Hunt are ready and able to help you through the divorce process whether by achieving a successful settlement for you or , if necessary, by litigating in the courts.

To contact them, call them at 866-362-7586, or visit their website at www.gailorwallishunt.com.

Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC

Divorce is Tough – So Are We

Hunt’s journal article, “Marital Contracts Can Reassure Spouses and Provide for the Future,” examines how spouses can enter into agreements-both prenuptial and postnuptial-to clarify the distribution of financial assets and debt in the event of divorce. This, she writes, not only helps calm concerns about splitting assets in the event of divorce, but it may also promote harmony in the marriage by reducing the tension often associated with managing finances.

Recognized by her peers as a member of Business North Carolina‘s Legal Elite in Family Law, Hunt has long been one of the state’s go-to lawyers for divorce and family law matters and has particular expertise in advising divorcing parties with complex financial issues.

“Cathy has made her mark as one of North Carolina’s preeminent family and divorce lawyers,” says Carole Gailor, managing partner of Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC. “She has an enviable track record not only of winning cases but of tackling and favorably resolving the really tricky business and financial issues that can impact, and in less capable hands, stall property distribution, child support and alimony agreements. We’ve long been thrilled to have Cathy as a partner, and we are delighted with her article.”

Hunt, who received her J.D. degree from the University of Memphis and served a judicial clerkship on the Tennessee Supreme Court, is one of the few North Carolina family and divorce lawyers with an extensive background in corporate law, having worked on mergers, acquisitions and divestitures before joining Gailor, Wallis & Hunt a decade ago.

“There’s a reason why clients come to Cathy when complex financial issues are involved in divorce and child support cases,” says Gailor. “It’s the same reason publications like Business North Carolina recognize her and publish her work. She simply knows this stuff better than anyone.”

About Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC

Founded in 1994, Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC, is one of North Carolina’s most accomplished, and recognized, family law firms. Our dedication and experience in all aspects of divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, prenuptial agreements and property distribution have made us an invaluable resource -and partner -for North Carolina residents enduring the emotional and financial stress of separation and divorce.

Tags: divorce lawyers, family law matters, marriage contracts, property distribution, postnuptial agreement, prenuptial agreement,

But the North Carolina Court of Appeals-in its ruling in the case Moore v. Onafowora on December 21-found otherwise. The appellate judges said the incompleteness of the father’s financial records made it necessary to look back at the older statements in trying to determine his income.

As reported in the March 2011 issue of Family Forum, a publication of the Family Law Section of the North Carolina Bar Association, the appellate court found that the trial judge who issued the child support order back in August 2009 had properly determined the father’s income based on all available sources.

Since the father’s financial records from 2008 and 2009 were incomplete, the appellate panel wrote, the trial court had not abused its discretion “in using [the father's] average monthly income reflected in the most complete records from 2007 to determine his 2009 income for purposes of setting his child support obligation.”

For North Carolina residents, the implication is clear, say divorce and family attorneys: Failure to keep or turn over current financial data may result in older-and potentially outdated-information to be used as a court attempts to determine income for purposes of child support obligations.

Custody, separation, child support and property distribution issues are often complex and stressful. Keeping comprehensive, up-to-date records on income and assets can make arriving at the ultimate resolution swifter, fairer and more accurate.

This news story was brought to you by the Raleigh, N.C., family law attorneys at Gailor Wallis & Hunt, one of North Carolina’s-and the nation’s-most accomplished divorce and family law firms. Our dedication and our experience in all aspects of divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, prenuptial agreements and property distribution have helped us aid many North Carolina families through emotionally and often financially stressful times.

Gailor, Wallis & Hunt

Divorce is Tough – So are We

With the economy starting to recover, however, many of those fragile alliances are starting to break. While that may come as a surprise to many-after all, the “for worse” part was supposed to be more challenging than the “for better”-divorce lawyers and other experts told the newspaper the trend makes logical-and economic-sense.

“I think a lot of people who are in troubled marriages have been waiting until the dust settled from the financial crisis,” Dennis Nolte, a senior vice president at Capital Guardian Wealth Management LLC in Winter Park, Fla., told the Sentinel. “When people start feeling a little more comfortable about the economy, that’s when they decide whether now is the time to move toward divorce.”

It’s an issue that could be of particular concern in North Carolina, where economic prospects have been improving of late-a trend that’s expected to continue measurably in 2011. After recording only a slight expansion in 2010, the state’s economy is expected to grow by nearly 3 percent in 2011, University of North Carolina economist John Connaughton said in March in his quarterly Babson Capital/UNC Charlotte Economic Forecast for the state.

Looking at its own backyard, the Sentinel found divorce rates climbing as the Orlando region’s economy improved. In 2010, the first full year after the recession was declared over, the number of divorce cases in the area rose more than 12 percent. During 2008-the recession’s first full year-divorce cases fell nearly 5 percent.

While financial stress is a trigger for many divorces and subsequent child custody and support cases, a particularly severe economic slump can, ironically, work to bring a couple together.

Brad Wilcox, a sociology professor and director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia told the Sentinel that in such cases, couples will “hunker down” to get through the turmoil. Once the hard times disappear, so, too, can that need to band together-especially in marriages that were already troubled.

“There’s a sort of pent-up demand for divorce after people get through tough times,” Wilcox told the paper. “We saw that in what happened after the Great Depression, when the Depression lifted and divorce increased toward the end of the 1930s.”

One divorce lawyer told the Sentinel that the correlation between economic upturns and rising divorce rates is something family attorneys see all the time. “When the economy goes down, many people just don’t have the money or will to do it,” he told the paper. “But when they feel that financially they can get out of a bad marriage, they’re more willing to take on the fight.”

For many North Carolina couples, hard times, it seems, may be replaced by hard choices.

This news story was brought to you by Raleigh, N.C., divorce lawyers Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC. Since our founding in 1994, we’ve become one of North Carolina’s most accomplished and recognized family law firms. Our dedication and experience in all aspects of divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, prenuptial agreements and property distribution have made us an invaluable resource-and partner-for North Carolina residents enduring the emotional and financial stress of separation and divorce.

Raleigh Divorce Lawyer / Partner Stephanie Jenkins of the Raleigh-based divorce and family lawyers Gailor, Wallis & Hunt has won a $30 million verdict in an alienation of affection lawsuit-a record for North Carolina.

The award, handed down by Superior Court Judge Carl Fox on March 14, represents a decisive victory for Jenkins and her client, Carol Puryear. It is the largest alienation of affection verdict in North Carolina history, comprising $10 million in compensatory damages and $20 million in punitive damages.

Alienation of affection-in which the plaintiff alleges that a third party maliciously acted to destroy his or her marriage-is a relatively rare cause of action, with North Carolina one of just a handful of jurisdictions that allow it. The cases are particularly difficult to win, too, because the deserted spouse must show that there was genuine love and affection in the relationship before the third party became involved, and that the defendant’s own conduct caused or was the major contributor to the destruction of the marriage.

According to court documents, Judge Fox’s decision holds part-time Wilmington resident, Betty Devin-current wife of Carol Puryear’s ex-husband, Donald-liable for the $30 million judgment. Carol and Donald Puryear were divorced in 2009 after a 15-year marriage. Devin’s relationship with Donald Puryear began during that marriage. It was not in dispute, says Jenkins, that Devin knew he was married and had a young son.

The $30 million verdict ended an unusual case in which Devin initially participated-filing an answer and counterclaim shortly after the case began in 2009-and then suddenly stopped taking part. Jenkins and her colleagues at Gailor, Wallis & Hunt filed numerous motions inviting Devin’s participation in the lawsuit and Judge Fox issued an order that Devin appear in court on January 31, 2011, or be held in contempt; however, Devin never made a personal appearance in the courtroom. Ultimately as shown in the court records, Judge Fox issued a default judgment in Carol Puryear’s favor.

While the judgment sets a record for a North Carolina alienation of affection case, multimillion-dollar verdicts have occurred before in the state, demonstrating the enormous harm that such behavior can cause. Compensatory damages can include pain and suffering, public humiliation, loss of standing in the community, and loss of income and lifestyle-all of which accrued in this case, according to Jenkins and court record.

Along with the alienation of affection action, the court documents state a criminal conversation claim was also brought against Devin. A strict liability tort, it deems a defendant automatically guilty if extramarital sex is proven.

But more important than the verdict’s amount, says Jenkins, is the message it sends: “For my client, this wasn’t about money. This was about having the defendant held accountable for her actions, which even the judge called egregious. People don’t get to do this to other people and get away with it.”

About Gailor, Wallis & Hunt
Founded in 1994, Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC, is one of North Carolina’s most accomplished and recognized family law firms. Their dedication and experience in all aspects of divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, prenuptial agreements and property distribution have made them an invaluable resource-and partner-for North Carolina residents enduring the emotional and financial stress of separation and divorce.

Case number: 09 CVS 0825

The gap is even greater among enlisted women: according to a March 11, 2011 report in The Washington Post, 9 percent saw their marriages end last year, compared to 3 percent of male service members.

While the stresses and long separations that come with wartime deployment no doubt play a role-220,000 women have served in Afghanistan and Iraq, reports The Post, citing Pentagon statistics-the issue hits home, literally, in states like North Carolina, the site of major military bases, from the Army’s Fort Bragg and the Marine Corp’s Camp Lejeune to Seymour Johnson Air Force Base.

The Post reports research indicates military women also divorce at higher rates than their civilian peers while military men divorce at lower rates. This trend is particularly prevalent among military women ages 40 to 49 who are half as likely to be in their first marriage as civilian women the same age.

Separation and divorce add significantly to the stress of military life. When a service man or woman is separated, suddenly he or she must grapple with child custody and support issues, as well as alimony and property distribution agreements.

While North Carolina family lawyers can help minimize this stress and facilitate speedy resolutions, separation and divorce are invariably a difficult transition, making support from family and colleagues vital even after a divorce agreement has been finalized.

An estimated 30,000 single moms have deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, according to The Post. By ensuring that appropriate custodial care and child support are in place before deployment, single moms can breathe easier and focus on the important and dangerous job at hand.

One theory as to why women in the military have higher divorce rates than their civilian peers is that women who are attracted to military life may be “less conventional,” as The Post article suggests, and less willing to stay in a bad marriage.

The military is taking the issue of divorce seriously-and developing programs to help prevent it, The Post reports. Each branch of the service offers programs focused on strengthening marriages, while support systems for returning veterans have also been improved.

Staff Sgt. Robin D. Duncan-Chisolm, who went through a divorce during her 2010 deployment to Iraq told The Post that the National Guard’s Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program was invaluable in helping her and her teenage son ease her transition back home.

“If you don’t have anybody to talk to or anybody to turn to, sometimes it gets a little difficult,” Duncan-Chisolm told the paper. “I’m glad I had that system in place.”

This news story was brought to you by Raleigh, N.C., divorce and family attorneys Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC. One of North Carolina’s most accomplished family law firms. Our dedication-and experience in all aspects of divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, prenuptial agreements, and property distribution are a great resource for North Carolina men and women enduring the emotional and financial stress of separation and divorce.

You and your spouse have been happily married for years, or so you thought, but for the last few months he has been spending more and more time on the computer “updating” his Facebook page and “talking” with old friends. You ask to see his page and he tells you that it is none of your business. Social networking sites are on the rise, and have become an integral part of many folk’s daily lives. While websites such as MySpace, Facebook, and now Twitter may be excellent networking tools, they also offer spouses who have the propensity to cheat new and easier ways to get reconnected with old flames or to meet new love interests.

You have now come to the conclusion that you think he might be cheating. What can you do? First, create your own page. Once you have your own page you can search other profiles to see if your spouse has one. If he or she does, then see if the page is marked as private. If it is not a private page, you will be able to view the contents of the page. Look at the pictures. Are there any photos of your spouse with someone you don’t know? Is he standing just a little too close to someone? Are there any recent photos that depict your spouse somewhere that you didn’t know he went or that were obviously taken by someone else when you were not around?

Read the comments. Is anyone being a little too friendly with your spouse? Does anyone make reference to an outing or an event that your spouse attended that either you didn’t know about or weren’t invited to? Look at your spouse’s friend list. Is there anyone on the list that you recognize as an old flame or perhaps a “friend” from work with whom your spouse has been spending an inordinate amount of time? If so, try to look at their pages. Once again, if they are not set to be private, then you should have no problem viewing the contents of the pages. See if your spouse has been leaving inappropriate or flirty comments on their pages, or if he or she appears in any of their photographs.

So now you have created your account and found your spouse’s profile, but it is set to be private. What can you do? The easiest thing to do is send your spouse a “friend request” to see if he or she will allow you to access to his page. Sending the friend request will accomplish two things. First, if the request is accepted, you will be able to view the contents of your spouse’s page. If, however, your request is ignored by your spouse, then you may have reason to believe that there is something on that page that your spouse does not want you to see.

In some cases, however, even if your spouse’s profile is set to be private, there may be certain areas that are still open to public view. Often, a person’s friend list will be viewable, and in some cases their basic profile information such as education, employment, and most importantly their “relationship status” will be viewable. If your spouse’s relationship status says “single” or “it’s complicated,” you may have reason to worry.

Contributor: Jaime H. Davis – Jaime Davis, a Raleigh Family Law Attorney is a North Carolina Board Certified Family Law Specialist and member of the Raleigh, North Carolina Divorce Law Firm of Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC. For more information contact: Raleigh, North Carolina Family Law Firm, Gailor, Wallis & Hunt at 866-362-7586 or go to www.gailorwallis.com.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is intended as a general guide and is not to be used as legal advice by Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC. Whether or not you may be entitled to take action in regard to the information addressed in this article can only be determined after a thorough review of the facts and circumstances of your case. You may contact North Carolina Family Lawyers Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC, a full service divorce law firm, at 866-362-7586.

As the article points out, “a close connection between ex-spouses continues in regards to financial issues,” after the decision to divorce is made. As insurance policies are typically issued on the basis that those covered are members of a nuclear household, it is typical for one spouse to hold one type of insurance, such as health, while the other holds another, such as disability. Whether one spouse can be required to pay insurance costs for another is a question of state law. With regard to life insurance, there are two aspects that divorcing parties must consider: first, whether the death benefits of a life insurance policy are considered a distributable marital asset, and secondly, whether a court can require the supporting spouse to insure himself or herself for the benefit of the other spouse who will be receiving child support or alimony.

In North Carolina, life insurance benefits are not a distributable marital asset, and a court cannot require the supporting spouse to pay the premiums on a life insurance policy to benefit the other spouse, in the event of the death of the supporting spouse, the other spouse. However, even though a court cannot compel a spouse to provide life insurance for the benefit of the opposing spouse, if the life insurance policy was acquired during the marriage and has a cash value, the cash value will most likely be an asset that will be subject to division between the parties at divorce. Also, the parties can negotiate between themselves as to whether life insurance will be provided. Be sure to consult an attorney experienced in the aspects of family law and divorce when proceeding with life insurance negotiations.

Secondly, health insurance is a key issue to address during divorce. When a divorce is finalized, a spouse who was covered under the other’s policy may no longer be covered. It is important to ascertain whether the spouse  of the employee who holds the primary life insurance policy through his or her employer will be eligible for continued coverage.   In certain circumstances, the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act  (COBRA) provides for continuation of health insurance coverage for a divorced spouse, that otherwise might be terminated.  Employees with twenty or more employees are usually required to offer COBRA coverage. You may be able to continue with COBRA coverage up to three years. The consent  of the employee spouse is not required. A family lawyer can provide guidance towards available options in coverage.

As with life insurance, a court has no ability to require a spouse to pay for a disability insurance policy. Thus, the issue of lost income from a supporting spouse who loses his or her earning capacity due to illness or injury is a very real problem. This issue should be negotiated during divorce proceedings so financial protection can be provided for the dependent spouse and children in the event of injury or illness of the supporting spouse. Typically, disability insurance does not provide for 100% of the gross income that would be lost by illness or injury during the disability period. Of practical importance are the insurance policies covering vehicle and personal property. When one spouse moves to another residence he or she will need to determine if the existing policy will continue to cover personal property moved to the new residence or whether a new personal property  policy will have to be obtained. Secondly, the parties will have to negotiate with respect to who will pay for the car insurance and coverage for vehicles titled to or in possession of the other spouse. Frequently, when parties are separated, the primary policy holder will remove the vehicles of the separated spouse from the policy. This could have severe ramifications if state law requires the driver or owner of a car to have insurance in force.

While insurance policies are only a few of the important issues to address during divorce, they remain integral to protecting your best interests. If you are debating divorce, or have already decided to proceed with the process, it is important that each party obtain their own lawyer skilled in family law and divorce.

The highly respected North Carolina divorce lawyers of Gailor, Wallis & Hunt are dedicated to assisting men and women obtain a fair and equitable divorce settlement. GWH offers knowledge, skill and experience in all aspects of family law, including equitable distribution, alimony and post separation support, child custody and support and separation and property settlement agreements.

To contact any Raleigh family attorney at Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, call them at (866) 362-7586, or visit their website at www.gailorwallishunt.com.

Gailor, Wallis & Hunt, PLLC

Divorce Is Tough – So Are We

“Should I stay or should I go now?” is a question many spouses face when they believe divorce is not a question of “if,” but “when.” When couples divorce, all assets acquired by the couple from the date of marriage through the date of separation are valued, and all debts acquired during this same time period are subtracted, resulting in the net value of the marital estate. In North Carolina, it is presumed that the marital estate will be divided equally.

For a spouse who believes that the likelihood of divorce is more probable than not, continuing to increase the value of the marital estate by investing in retirement and pension plans, building value in companies in which the spouse has an ownership interest and purchasing real estate only increases the assets that will be transferred upon separation. Spouses who have concerns about the stability of their marriage may want to consider entering into a postnuptial agreement.

In the case of Bill and Ellen, entering into a postnuptial agreement may give Bill an incentive to continue working on his marriage without feeling the pressure and concern of the value clock ticking in the background. It is important to note that a postnuptial agreement cannot provide for the waiver of or the provision for alimony or spousal support, since such a provision is against public policy in North Carolina. Consequently, it is important to have a family law attorney who knows what the law will allow and what the law prohibits to prepare the postnuptial agreement.

Before marriage, parties can enter into a premarital agreement that will provide for the distribution of property and, unlike postnuptial agreements, terms regarding spousal support. This is often recommended when one party brings more wealth to the marriage than the other or when one spouse is an owner in a family business or other closely held entity where such interest is intended to stay within the immediate family or the existing shareholders.

Paula and Jim were engaged to be married. Jim works for his family’s business, and Paula will be entering medical school. Because Jim has wealth that he received from his family, he is going to pay Paula’s tuition, and he will pay for their expenses while she is in school.

Jim is just starting out in the family business and has been gifted shares of stock in a number of closely held companies owned by various family members. He receives periodic distributions for purposes of paying taxes owed on income earned from his shares and infrequent distributions for his own personal use. The shareholder agreements for the various entities provide that the shares cannot be owned by any person outside of the immediate family. Spouses of family members may not hold shares.

Jim and Paula are among the ranks of many couples today who are entering into a premarital agreement to determine the distribution of their assets in the event of divorce. This requires the couple to discuss how they want to handle their income and assets in the future – at a time when they are in love. All couples should discuss the future distribution of assets before getting married to make sure their future plans are compatible. For example, if Jim incurs expenses of $100,000 to put Paula through medical school, he may expect to be reimbursed if Paula graduates and ends the marriage within the first ten years of marriage. In the alternative, if Paula earns $300,000 a year as a physician after enduring medical school, a residency and long hours in her practice, she may want an agreement that she will not have to pay alimony to Jim should he choose to work part time for the family business and live off of distributions he receives from his ownership.

Contracting with one’s spouse or intended spouse may feel awkward, wrong or as if one is not committed to the marriage. When spouses divorce, outside of issues related to children, all of the remaining issues are related to money and the distribution of assets. If such decisions can be made before people are at their worst, the outcome will likely be more equitable.

Ultimately, premarital and postnuptial agreements allow spouses to contract with each other regarding the matters most important to their financial future. These alternatives may provide the security needed to help a marriage survive troubled times.

Contact Info:

CathyHunt@gwhlaw.com
866-362-7586